Tender Mercies

I cannot remember a time in my life when my heart has been so touched by the kindnesses and tender mercies of others. I mean it when I say I have truly been surrounded by good people all of the days of my life.

Many times during this week, I kept saying, "I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. I don't want..." But, Kerry, my sisters, my friends and others kept holding me up and strengthening me.

On Wednesday, I ventured out with Kerry to do some last-minute things. Remember ~ I am still recuperating from back surgery and experiencing quite a bit of pain from the donation site (where they took the bone from my pelvis to fill in between the vertebrae). I know I could have just sent Kerry, but one of our errands was to run the programs off for the memorial service. I had worked hard on them and I wanted them to be just right. We coupled that with a few others errands ~ and it was too much for me. I got too tired, too cold, was in pain beyond measure and couldn't wait to get home. Kerry helped me into bed and I broke down and just began crying uncontrollably. I beat my fist into my pillow and cried my eyes out. Gentle Kerry comforted me and helped me get through it all. It was the first time I had cried since Peter's death. It needed to happen. I didn't have the physical or the emotional resources to make it stop.

Thursday was the day things began happening. Kerry left early to pick up Miss Harmony from the airport. I was resting when they arrived home. They gently woke me up and I saw my sweet daughter in front of me! I hadn't seen her since May 2006!!! I held her and just could not let her go. I was so glad she was able to get the time off from work to be here. Oh, how I have missed her!

We did and lot of reconnecting, then welcomed Dave and Waunita Wharton that evening. She had done a special favor for me, and had done it quickly! I was amazed at how fast someone with such talent can work miracles. Bless her heart. I will include what she did at a later time, along with a picture.

It was also a day when Kerry had talked with his brother, Kelly, who is stationed in Germany. He and his dear wife, Marion, were not going to be able to make it for the memorial due to prior commitments, but wanted to send flowers to represent their support for us. Within just a couple of hours of speaking with them, a HUGE basket of red and white carnations arrived. It was so big I though the little old man who delivered it was going to tip over. It brightened our home so much!


Friday, things began happening. Erik came up in the early afternoon, and we all met at the chapel so he and I could rehearse some music. Harmony helped Natalie Williams set up displays and pictures.

While Erik and I practiced, the organ began to act up. We checked all of the connections and it still kept cutting in and out. It was like the organ and the speakers were not connecting. When we left, it was working. We could only keep our fingers crossed.

Harmony and Erik went to lunch, then we all had dinner at our home. It was so good having family back home again. Jordan and Melissa and the grandboys came up a day early and checked into the motel room we had reserved for them.

Then...the day was here. I dreaded it. I looked forward to it. I wanted to do it and get it over with. I didn't want to do it at all. Every emotion I could possibly feel went running through my heart and my mind.

When we pulled into the church parking lot, there were already cars there. Natalie and her army of women were already in place preparing for the luncheon that would follow. People began showing up long before the time we had set aside for greeting. I was astounded at those that came ~ those that remembered him from childhood that I hadn't seen in 20+ years, friends from Cub Scout and Boy Scout days, his youth choir leader - Dalton Derr, my cousins from the eastern part of Ohio, the receptionist where I used to get my nails done, co-workers and supervisors from the Post Office, some of my temple workers, Kerry's family that came from as far away as Georgia and Utah ~ oh, I could go on and on and on...

After a short prayer meeting in the Bishop's office, it was time to go into the chapel. Erik was softly playing the prelude. As I walked down that familiar aisle that I walk down each week, Kerry and I turned around and gazed upon a chapel that was practically filled to the brim with those that came from far and near to pay their last respects. The lump that formed in my throat never left.

More and more flowers arrived. At first, I didn't think that flowers would be that necessary for such a short time. I was wrong. On a cold, drizzly winter day, they did much to brighten the mood and my spirits. They are still in my home brightening and lightening our load.

From Lee and Darlene Tobler, our dear, dear temple friends.

From Fern and Jim, my sister and her husband

From Chris and Kristy, and Joy and Reed - Kerry's brother and his wife, and his sister and her fiance

From Dave and Cheryl Talaga

The service began.

Erik offered a beautiful and heartfelt opening prayer.

Harmony gave a short talk that came straight from her heart. In it, she mentioned how important it is to forgive, and to keep in contact with family, for you may not always have the opportunity to make things right.

Jordan did the eulogy and spoke quite eloquently about some memories he had of Peter as his older brother. He mentioned that he may not have always agreed with some of the decisions that Peter made, but that he still loved him as a brother.

It was time for Erik and I to play the medley of hymns that Erik had put together. On the first song, the organ stopped working. It buzzed through the speakers, and I quickly turned it off. Turned it on. Turned it off. I then offered a short prayer and asked the Lord to please help that organ do its job. I turned it on and never had another problem. We filled the chapel with music.

Bob Rivers, a former bishop that had known Peter since the day he was born, spoke on the Lord's plan of salvation for his children. It was the best talk on that subject I had ever heard. It was tender. It was hopeful. It was true.

Kerry then offered a father's testimony. My goodness, did he have people asking for a copy of his talk. I have attached it to this email, as well as a copy of the program.

The closing song, "God Be With You Till We Meet Again" is where I lost it. My three remaining children took their places up front - Erik on the organ, Jordan on the piano, and Harmony directing the congregation. The image of the three of them, plus the message of the song made my held back emotions come bursting forth. Jean came up and comforted me, and then I fell into my Kerry's arms.

My oldest son is truly gone.

Melissa offered a beautiful closing prayer, then it was time to move to the cultural hall, where I have never seen so much food. It was a bounty to be shared by all. Bless the good women that have supported our family twice in a short time - this memorial service and helping me after my surgery.

The Lauritzen family gathered back at our house to reconnect with one another. There were five Lauritzen siblings - the most that has been gathered together since the funeral of their father. Much has happened in everyone's lives since then, and it was good to catch up. Again, I am so touched that they would come from so far to help and support us during the hardest time of our lives. I will never forget their sacrifice in coming. And...Content is even staying a few days longer to help me out. This is the week the cards and letters stop coming and can be a very lonely time. I'm glad she's here.

Chris, Joy, Kerry, Content, and David. We're not sure what David was doing.

Erik and I played again for church on Sunday, and the people loved it. I wish he could be here every week to play. I played quite often with Peter, and Erik has much the same playing style as Peter did. It's wonderful. Just wonderful.

Sunday evening was a pure delight as Jordan and Melissa and the grandboys stayed late and played with their Aunt Harmony and Uncle Erik. This was the first time Harmony had met Melissa and the grandboys, so that was great to have the chance to grow to love each other.

Harmony, Kerry, Peggy, Jordan, Erik (in front)

Harmony holding Jayden, Erik holding JJ, Melissa holding Justin, Kerry and Peggy and Jordan in the back

Now it's time to go forward. Peter is gone, but never from our memories. Every room in our house hold evidence that he was once a physical part of our lives. His ashes will be buried in the next little while - there is no rush, as there is with a regular funeral.

Kerry and I will never forget the kindness offered to our family, the calls, the cards, the emails, the way friends and family embraced my children and swept them into their arms. Our lives have been filled with tender mercies - from our friends, our family, our church family, and from the Lord. Those tender mercies will enable us to see our son again. I can hardly wait to hold him again.

Love to you all...
Kerry and Peggy